The Mom Guilt

Y’all, can we talk about the guilt?

Because if motherhood were an Olympic sport, I would absolutely medal in Feeling Bad About Literally Everything.

I’m an older mama with two girls — Jessica with opinions as strong as Georgia sweet tea, and Jenna who can switch from angel to tornado faster than an Atlanta summer storm. And then there’s Nugget just watching the chaos like he pays the mortgage.

And somehow… no matter what I choose?

I feel bad about it.

The “Work” Guilt

If I’m working on PlanIt.Mom stuff — blog posts, shirts, ideas scribbled on sticky notes stuck to the fridge — I feel guilty I’m not fully present.

If I close the laptop and sit on the floor to play dolls, I feel guilty I’m not building the dream.

If I answer emails during gymnastics practice, I feel guilty I’m not watching every cartwheel.

If I don’t answer emails? I feel behind.

Bless it.

The “Yes” Guilt

If I say yes to the extra playdate, the birthday party at Sparkles, the school spirit week costume that requires crafting supplies from three different stores OTP…

I feel overwhelmed.

If I say no?

I feel like I’m robbing them of childhood magic.

There is apparently no neutral ground. Just vibes and guilt.

The “Discipline” Guilt

If I’m firm — I feel mean.
If I’m gentle — I feel like I’m raising future roommates who won’t replace the toilet paper roll.

If I lose my patience in Kroger and say something with a little too much spice in it?
Guilt.

If I hold it together like a saint but then vent to my husband later?
Still guilt.

And the wildest part? The same kids who “don’t hear me” when I ask them to put on shoes can repeat word-for-word the ONE time I muttered something under my breath in traffic.

Amazing memory retention. Selective, but impressive.

The Self-Care Guilt

If I take 30 minutes alone with coffee on the porch before the Georgia humidity melts my soul, I feel like I’m being selfish.

If I don’t take the 30 minutes?
I’m cranky.
And then I feel guilty for being cranky.

It’s a circle. A Southern, humid, never-ending circle.

Why Does This Happen?

Here’s what I’m realizing (usually at 10:47pm when I should be asleep but instead I’m replaying the day like a courtroom drama):

We care.

That’s it.

We care so deeply that every decision feels weighted. We want to get it right. We want them to feel loved, secure, confident. We want to build something meaningful. We want to show up and still be ourselves.

But here’s the truth I’m slowly learning, folding laundry while Nugget drags a sock down the hallway:

Every choice means saying no to something else.

That doesn’t mean it’s wrong.
It just means we’re human.

What I’m Trying Instead

Instead of asking,
“Was that the perfect choice?”

I’m trying to ask,
“Was that a loving choice?”

Sometimes loving looks like saying no.
Sometimes loving looks like rest.
Sometimes loving looks like holding the boundary even when it makes you unpopular for 12 whole dramatic minutes.

And sometimes loving looks like ordering pizza, sitting on the couch with my two girls and letting Nugget wedge himself between us like he’s the emotional support manager of the family.

No guilt.
Just presence.

Well… mostly.

Mama, if you feel like you can’t win no matter what you pick — you’re not broken.

You’re invested.

And that means you’re doing better than you think.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to reheat my coffee for the third time and pretend that counts as self-care.

We’ll try again tomorrow. 💛

— Jamie

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#MomLife #MotherhoodUnfiltered #MomGuilt #GeorgiaMom #AtlantaMoms #SmyrnaGA #RealLifeParenting #CoffeeAndChaos #BoyMomOopsNopeGirlMom 😅 #PlanItMom #PlanItMomUS