The Middle Is Heavy — And I’m Figuring It Out One Day at a Time
The Middle Is Heavy — And I’m Figuring It Out One Day at a Time
I didn’t see this season coming.
Not like this.
I knew parenting would be hard. I knew raising little humans would stretch me in ways I couldn’t fully explain. What I didn’t expect was the moment I realized I was standing in the middle of two worlds—kids who think they’re adults and adults who think they’re kids—and both sides were depending on me.
Fully. Constantly.
Most days everyone needs something at the same time. And they all need it right now.
I’ve got kids who swear they’ve “got it,” who have opinions, plans, schedules, and no clue how much it costs to keep the lights on. At the same time, I’ve got parents who raised me, protected me, and taught me everything—now insisting they don’t need help while doing things that make my heart race and my stomach drop.
Both ends pulling.
Both ends needing reassurance.
And me… trying to hold it all together.
Being Needed From Every Direction
There’s pride in watching your kids grow more independent. There’s joy in seeing them learn and stretch and become their own people. But right alongside that pride is fear—watching your parents struggle quietly, resist help, and cling to independence even when it’s no longer safe.
Kids want freedom.
Parents are terrified of losing it.
And somehow, I’ve become the decision-maker, the planner, the safety net.
That weight doesn’t leave your shoulders. It follows you into the grocery store, into carpool lines, into bed at night when the house finally gets quiet.
The Load No One Sees
What makes this season so heavy isn’t just the emotions—it’s the logistics.
My brain is juggling:
School schedules, homework, practices, performances
Planning for colleges that feel far away but also somehow right around the corner
Thinking about weddings one day… while also planning funerals and memorials
Rising medical bills, prescriptions, and appointments
Mortgages, car notes, insurance, groceries, and everything in between
And then there are the conversations I never expected to have yet. Sitting at the table talking through “what happens when one of you is gone.” Trying not to cry while discussing plans no one wants to admit are necessary. Quietly helping figure out how to pay for things none of us are ready for.
There are nights I lie awake wondering how I’m supposed to support a parent who’s already struggling—if they suddenly have to do life alone.
That fear is heavy. And it’s lonely.
When the Cracks Start to Show
This is the part people don’t talk about much.
The resentment that sneaks in. The guilt for feeling resentful at all.
The fear that you’re failing everyone—your kids, your parents, your marriage, yourself.
Most days, there’s no time left for me. No quiet. No margin. No space to breathe. And I worry about losing myself somewhere between carpool and caregiving, between school events and medical appointments.
That doesn’t mean I love them any less. It means I’m human.
What I’m Learning (As I Go)
I’m learning this in real time. There’s no roadmap for this stage, and most days I’m just doing the best I can with what I have.
Here’s what I keep reminding myself—and maybe you need to hear it too:
It’s okay to take a minute.
Even when everyone is coming at you with things they wanted done yesterday.
Even when they’re demanding your full attention, your energy, your answers.
Most things can wait.
Nothing is going to fall apart if:
You don’t make it to the store until tomorrow
You have groceries delivered instead of going yourself
You skip a gymnastics class once
You wait to return that text until you’re out of the shower
Grab the quiet moments when you can—
even if it’s hiding in the pantry with some chocolate,
even if it’s sitting in the car a few extra minutes,
even if it’s choosing not to respond to one more request right away.
Those moments are small, but they matter.
From One Mama in the Middle to Another
This season is hard because it matters.
It’s heavy because it’s full of love.
And it’s exhausting because you’re holding so much.
If you’re here too, trying to be everything to everyone—hang in there, mamas.
You’re not doing it wrong.
You’re just doing a lot.
And you’re allowed to pause.
Bless it… we’re learning as we go. 💛
-Sending you Love & LOTS of coffee!
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