Strong Doesn’t Mean Silent

Okay, Mamas – serious question: why are we not honest and open about our experiences? Why do we feel the need to “suffer in silence” or look like we’ve got it all together, when on the inside we’re feeling like we’re failing, or barely holding it together with bobby pins, dry shampoo, and prayer?

I ask because I’m so guilty of this, and I honestly don’t know why. I’m not a very emotional person. I can probably count on one hand the number of times I’ve cried in front of family or friends. I’ve been called out for not crying at funerals, my own wedding, and even when I miscarried my first pregnancy and nearly died in the ER. Somewhere along the line, I think I taught myself to shove it down, pull it together, and keep on moving. Like that scene in The Neverending Story – you stop moving forward, you sink into the swamp.

But here’s the thing: silence can feel safer, but it’s also a lie we tell ourselves. Getting pregnant wasn’t easy for me. It was years of trying, failing, and wondering why teenagers could manage it without effort but I couldn’t. It wasn’t until I sat in a fertility doctor’s waiting room, watching other couples ride the same rollercoaster, that I realized I wasn’t broken. I wasn’t alone. And when a tubal pregnancy almost cost me my life, it forced me to share my story.

The second I opened up, other women did too. Suddenly, there were miscarriage stories, fertility struggles, quiet heartbreaks that had been carried in silence. None of us should have had to go it alone.

Here’s what I want to say with all my heart: we do not have to, and should not have to, suffer in silence or pretend perfection. Life is messy. Whether you’re a mom or not, nobody has it all figured out. Nobody does it all alone. The trick is finding your people – the ones you can ugly cry with, laugh until you snort with, and text at midnight because the toddler just smeared peanut butter on the dog.

I’m not saying spill your soul in the middle of the grocery store (though I’ve been tempted in the Target checkout line, bless it). I’m saying it’s okay to feel all the feels. It’s okay to talk about the hard stuff. It’s okay to not be okay.

Find your tribe, Mamas. Don’t do the swamp alone.

❤️ Jamie

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